Spiritual Stylism (English Version)

Transformation does not mean the old pattern disappears. It means we can see it, and still choose to not react in the old way. Many of us are working with manifestation, vision boards, and affirmations. We set intensions, imagine new possibilities, and focus on the life we want to create. All of this is wonderful, creative and brings hopefully a lot of fun into your life while you are doing this. Real transformation happens in the trigger, the moment when our nervous system activates old survival patterns. The trigger (we suddenly feel attacked, overwhelmed, not seen, unsafe etc.) then feels like the problem, but what if the trigger is actually the portal? A portal into unconscious patterns stored in our nervous system but also a portal into our power and liberation. A gateway to old patterns and suppressed emotions that have now worked their way up to the surface to be felt and released. If we already have built capacity in our nervous system to pause und breathe, rather than being reactive, we have the choice to choose consciously how we actually would like to respond in alignment with our vision and not from autopilot.  This is the moment of choice, where we are becoming aware of what comes up (the urge to fight, to defend, to withdraw, control etc.) and we allow it to be there and still choose differently. This is leaving the victim state (unconscious creation out of survival) and becoming the conscious creator. 

Through an intense, real moment of activation, I experienced what it means to stay completely present while my nervous system went into a strong panic mode, and how something deeper in me continued to hold "me" in safety and guided me back into the parasympathetic state. This is self-leading, this is power, this is how we can overcome the old programs that running us. If we are able to not identify with whatever is activated, we realize that our true self, the I AM is bigger than any state that appears in our consciousness.  

Our "core" is our inner holding system, it is our body centre, for me the tangible connection between "heaven and earth" in our physical vehicle. Feeling this inner strength automatically lifts us up, we feel safe and allow ourselves to truly take up space and expand.  Speaking from the core, means expressing the heart felt truth, because even the voice (our expression) has something to do with a strong core. If we strengthen it and pay attention to it, we have a strong vessel that carries us through life. For me, the gentle and steady strengthening of my inner holding system was such a catalyst for regulation, strength and presence, that from this new embodiment incredible gifts have come into my life, because only then was I able to receive and hold them safely in me.
Our families body whisperer :-)........www.Jesforber.com

On our journey there comes a moment where we no longer fight for connection but living truth and dignity. It is the fire that rises when self betrayal becomes unbearable. This is the warrior archetype in a woman when she reaches a state where she is letting go of the self image to be  "easy to handle", always loving and compassionate, having endless tolerance,  just to make sure she is not risking attachment. This is not living real feminine energy, this is pretending to be someone who accepts bread crumbs and never really showing your core self and be a flag in the wind. This is not authenticity, this is a role out of survival. 

The woman who plays is alive, truthful and authentic, she allows life to express itself completely through her. The woman who "performs", is in a fight with life, she manipulates, controls and holds herself together, and lives with immense tension. For divine playing, wich is being in the "flow state", we need safety in our nervous system and sometimes performing looks like playing, but it is not, as we "play" to achieve something. Playing happens in the NOW, is spontaneous, is real, is free, is innocent, has no intention. To be able to distinguish between these two different states requires embodiment and awareness for micro-tension, for the moment when we leave ourselves internally and focus on the outside to please, to control, to gain security, etc. The closer we get to ourselves, the clearer it will become to you when you are really awake and play with life, and when you "perform" from one of the many roles that you have acquired over time and with which you protect yourself. These roles are often completely invisible to the outside as well as to ourselves, but their frequency comes from lack and uncertainty and we cover something up that we think is not acceptable or lovable. We pretend to be something that we are not and thus separate ourselves from the world and our fellow human beings in an often very subtle and hardly perceptible way.

This episode is specifically for women who identify with their feminine core in this incarnation. Time and time again, the question arises: “How can I be more feminine? What do I need to DO? How should I dress, move, speak, and so on?” The truth is that you can grow long hair, dress very femininely, move sensually, speak deeply and calmly, and still not be embodied in your femininity. This is because all of these things arise naturally when we, as women, stop living in survival mode. Femininity lives in a regulated nervous system, beyond any survival program. From this place, true femininity emerges and expresses itself uniquely through each woman, just as every flower is uniquely beautiful. Every woman carries this wisdom within her, and it unfolds in a completely natural way when we move from fighting into receiving.

Isn’t it fascinating that as soon as we are genuinely touched in a relationship and our heart begins to open, old, suppressed “treasures” from our unconscious rise to the surface? Real closeness reaches the parts of us that were challenging and overwhelming in our earliest childhood. An encounter that truly opens our heart can act like a catalyst for integration, if we have the courage to turn inwards and are able to stay with whatever arises. There is a lot we can do for ourselves without being in a relationship, regulating our nervous system (expanding our capacity to sit in the discomfort of being triggered for example), understanding our patterns, and so on. But what is ultimately needed is another person. Understanding things on a mental level and then being faced with them in real life are two very different levels of integration. What was “wounded” in relationship also needs to be “healed” in relationship. We need new, nourishing experiences in order to overwrite the old adaptive model that no longer serves us, wich is our attachment pattern. With enough self aware-ness, an understanding of our hidden self sabotaging programs, a heart that keeps opening, and a nervous system that can hold a wider range, we can bring heaven to earth, instead of unconsciously continuing to fight what we deeply long to live.

Do you know that feeling that giving is easier than receiving? Not out of generosity, but because giving seems to give us a sense of control. Receiving requires surrendering. The body stops holding on, stops fighting, and sinks into life itself. True receiving is quiet, natural, and genuinely sustaining, and often we are no longer even consciously aware of it, because it has not been experienced for many generations. Receiving marks the end of the struggle for survival and the beginning of a life lived in abundance and trust.

If we want to live sacred polarity in a relationship, then it needs two layers of safety. It takes the inner safety in both nervous systems AND the safety within the relationship itself. We cannot open up and hold tension if we are not safe in ourselves, nor if the relationship is not a stable and protected field. Without safety in us, we cannot hold tension and intensity and without stability in the relationship, we cannot really open up, surrender and receive. It takes two mature and integrated adults who are whole and complete in themselves, free from dependencies to live a love in polarity, rather than in compensation, where one is carrying and regulating an aspect of the other. This is not love, this is regulation. 

In this episode, we dive into the essence of the masculine and feminine, not as roles or identities, but as living forces, as inner movements that work through us. When we as women have integrated our male energy, something quiet and at the same time powerful is created, an inner support. We become clear, present and self-supporting. Our inner space opens up, a kind of container that holds us. From this inner capacity we become truly receptive. Not out of lack, not out of need, but out of openness, because we already have wholeness within us. And only then can the masculine in the outside truly give, because we no longer pull, but remain within ourselves. We no longer need anyone to carry or hold us, but we choose to be held, because we simply enjoy to be a woman and that also brings the man into his power because it is the natural order in polarity. Old dynamics, dependencies are dissolving. We meet the masculine from our inner strength, awake, free and conscious and just from there we can really embrace all of it, because we have integrated the masculine within us. We can relax outside into it and no longer have to fear it or put it on a pedestal, wich has nothing to do with love, it´s a survival program and dependancy. From our own inner strength we are soft, nourishing, sensual, devoted, receptive without losing ourselves. Only then does healthy polarity arise. And of course, this is just as true for men. The more integrated a man’s inner feminine is, the more present, grounded, and powerful his masculinity becomes. He no longer seeks a mother nor a woman who submits or idolises him. He chooses a companion. A partner on equal ground to create with. Not from lack or inner fragmentation, but because he wishes to consciously embody his masculinity and there for he chooses a woman who is grounded in her primal feminine power.  Maturity emerges here as well, when direction and feeling, structure and aliveness, come together within. When the masculine and feminine no longer compete, but support one another we can live the sacred union.